Call me crazy, but I truly believe it is possible for a hack like me to one day, shoot a par round of golf. Better yet, call me insane, because I also believe I can do this without taking lessons. Or, maybe I should just be committed to an insane asylum now; I say this because currently, my average score is nowhere near par. The only time scratch happens on the course for me, is when I am trying to relieve the itch from mosquito bites.
I do break 100…………….., every now and again. More often than not, I am hovering just over the 100 mark. I can honestly say though that my scores do not accurately reflect my game, at least in my opinion. Let me explain.
Most of my scores on each hole are bogeys or double bogeys. I manage to get a couple of pars per round, and once in a while I get real lucky and get a birdie or two. It’s those damn blow up holes that bite me in the ass every round! You know the ones; you’re truckin’ along just fine, hitting the ball not too bad and posting scores of one or two over par. All of a sudden for one hole, your game goes south on a fast train to Georgia.
Your drive has every worm on the fairway scurrying for cover and skitters about fifty yards down the fairway. You shank your 3 iron, chip the ball back onto the fairway from the trees, and top your approach shot. You are now lying four on a par four and you’re not even dancing yet. Your short bump and run, runs more than it bumps and you end up on the other side of the green in a bunker. You curse every Scotsman that was ever born as you barely hack the ball back onto the green, leaving yourself a 50 foot putt for triple bogey.
You line up your putt, take your stroke, and to your amazement the green breaks left instead of right leaving you feeling like an illiterate golfer because you can’t read greens. Two more putts and the bleeding finally stops. You pluck your ball from the cup and curse the Scots again because Lord knows, a few more must have been born since you last cursed them from the sand trap.
You mark a 9 on the scorecard and know in your heart that 100 will not be broken this day. You also know that, despite feeling like a man who just walked in on his girlfriend and best friend, all will be forgiven and you will be back. Like the Sirens of the sea, the lure and enchantment of the game is too magnetic to resist. Besides, next game, you will for sure break 100.
The first thing I need to do is eliminate those one or two holes per game with the blow up scores to bring my game into the mid to low nineties. From there, it is just a matter of hard work and perseverance. Maybe I am being naive but my theory is, if you can par one hole, there is no reason you can’t par the next hole, and so on, and so on, and so on. The other thing that has me believing it’s possible to shoot par, is my performance on the driving range. If I ever figure out how to take my range ball striking to the course, I swear to the good Lord above I would give Tiger a run for his money.
There you have it, the reason I started aquestforpar.com because, I am on a quest for par. I may have to admit defeat one day, but if I do figure this damn game out and am successful in my quest, it should give hope to hackers everywhere. And believe me, if a hack like me ever experiences the thrill of shooting par, anyone who ever picks up a club has the potential to do the same.
May the Golf Gods be kind to you,
Howard Jaymes